Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Just wanted to say...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Saturday Movie Date night aka He's 'says' She 'says' Nachos!
He 'says' Nachos:
Ground Turkey, grated cheddar cheese, a dab of sour cream and some tomatoes.
She 'says' Nachos:
Ground Turkey, grated cheese, a few dabs of sour cream, diced jalapenos, salsa, tomatoes and Franks hot sauce.
It was a good movie, at first, I won't lie, I thought it was going to be stupid and was counting how many other movies I'd have to watch before it was my turn to pick again. But I liked the movie. The best part was adding our own ad libs though admittedly.
Happy Weekend!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I'm Canadian EH!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Best thing Ever! (For the moment!)
Well...I was right. I have Windows DVD maker...let me tell you it's probably the coolest thing since sliced bread. It let's you decorate your menu screen and everything! I have one that looks like photographs shifting across the screen and you have the option to press play or look at the 10 different scenes I have compiled.
Seriously! I am burning my DVD right now and barring that it for some reason doesn't work/play this will be the best thing since sliced bread!
Get ready for some amazing Ava DVD's fam!
Monday, December 15, 2008
sigh...yeah yeah what next?
Anyways so now I am stuck at home working, with my laptop hooked up to the smallest Ethernet cord in history. She's watching Wow Wow Wubzy on the home laptop. And being generally adorable today. Don't ask me what happens the other 6 days out of the week. Kidding, kidding.
sort of
So to sum up I had to move my interview and want to beat my car into oblivion.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Breathe in Breathe out Breathe in Breathe out
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Spoiler if you're expecting a present from me...
I made three different kinds of Chocolate Truffles and my now famous Mint Chocolate Caramel candy.
I bought these cute boxes online:
And wrapped them all with a ribbon! I made 33 boxes in total. I'm officially exhausted! Enjoy!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Ava+Christmas tree=cuteness
Ava came into the house and said "WOW TREE!" she was so excited to see a tree in our house!
For those of you who don't know, which is all of you, Ava calles Larry teekle because when they first met he chased her around the house saying teekle teekle! And she would giggle like crazy. So now Larry is teekle.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
My weekend so far
After showering quickly and dressing Ava and myself we ran to Walmart and turned the Durango in to have the tires put on. After browsing various aisle's and pressing all of the dancing snowmen/reindeer/santa's I could find we did some grocery shopping and I get a call from the Auto department...
Man: We need your special wrench thingy because we can't get your locking bolts off.
Me: My what?
Man: Repeats himself
Me: I have no idea what you're talking about (Ava interrupting saying she has had enough of sitting and would like to get down to cause who knows what kind of trouble) I'm coming back there.
Lady: Do you have the Durango?
Me: Yes, but I don't know what you're asking me for. I've never heard of what you're talking about or seen it.
Lady: (with attitude) Well we can't take the tires off without it.
Me: (with even more attitude) Well how do I know where you've checked let me check my car.
They let me go back to car...
Mechanic Man: I checked the glove box and the center console.
Me: Well why would it be in there? Did you check the back of the hatch where the spare tire is?
Mechanic Man: ::Pondering:: ::Opens up back and produces mysterious tire lug nut thing::
Me: ::fuming, lifts eyebrows::
Mechanic Man: Should be about 20 minutes ma'am
--------------------------------------------------------
Drive 15 or so miles out to cut your own tree farm. Park, retrieve saw. Realized at home that only boots I have are high heeled swede boots...not ideal for tree cutting. Decide 'okay in and out just find a cute small one and lets go'. Get lost in need to find perfectly proportionate tree...start internal war...brain against body.
Body: EVERY STEP FORWARD IS ANOTHER STEP BACK MORON!
Brain: Hush now you won't be saying that when we find the perfect tree
Body: ::grumbles:: Here this one is fine
Brain: No no it's much too gap-py on the bottom. Ohh look at this one!
Body: Fine sure whatever I don't care the feet are freezing, let's get the h out of here.
Brain: No no, look at this one side it's all open
Body: Chanting: It's not cool to saw off your own head, it's not cool to saw off your own head
Brain: LOOK I FOUND IT!
Body: Eureka! I'll cut it down.
Feel good about myself for cutting down tree completely before stronger man beside me gets his down. Swagger a bit, being smug and all and almost fall into snow.
Drag tree 1/2 mile back to car decide Brain is a loser while wind is whipping face and feet are almost frozen to death. Look down at the sweet straight cutting job only to realize there are tons of small branches that need to be trimmed in order for it to fit nicely in base. Swear slightly then begin sawing. Get tree netted, pay and drive home.
At home takes about 10 minutes to put tree up, let it loosen up a bit while making hot chocolate and taking pictures for Cake. Dress tree, take more pictures of favorite ornaments, turn lights off and relax.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Darn it!
For instance:
I bought Larry a GREAT gift for Christmas! I mean it's awesome I am so happy with my purchase and it's something I think he is really going to love. I ordered it, and it arrived today and I opened it up to make sure it was complete, and it was just perfect! I'm so excited about it, but I can't tell anyone about it.
Sigh...
This may or may not have been to slightly torment you.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Another bad day
I am sorry I parked on the wrong side of the street, how could anyone possibly remember your crazy rules. Take your $20 and buy some gloves.
Signed,
Sarah
---------------------------------------------------------
Dear Coworker who emails me about everything,
I do not care if you are taking lunch at 11. Your cubicle is directly across from mine. Please stop emailing me something that would take you less time to tell me directly.
Signed,
Sarah
P.S. Please take out "Thank you in advance" out of your signature since it rarely makes sense to your actual message.
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Dear Whiny San Jose Branch,
Please stop complaining about everything. I really am very tired of having to deal with every runny nose. It is -13 degrees Celsius up here, we have enough runny noses to last us a while.
Signed,
Sarah
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Dear Blemishes,
In case you didn't receive the notice, I'm not 14 anymore. Please vacate my face and find a small teenage boy to torment.
Signed,
Sarah
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Dear Thoughtful coworker who found Canadian Smarties in America,
Thank you.
Signed,
Sarah
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Dear Stomach,
Please decide what you would like to consume for dinner before 5pm so that brain can plan. Thank you.
Signed,
Sarah
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Today
Me: No a new Campaign Element.
Coworker: But the Campaign needs to be changed?
Me: No...You just need to create a new Element under the new Group Plan. (My Boss's name) sent out a
Coworker: I know but I didn't pay attention.
Me: Oh...well (His Boss's name) sent out a
Coworker: Yeah I didn't look at that either
Me: Well all that
Coworker: Well I'll just go to the Campaign Manager and make them do it (walking away)
Me: ...Okay...
This pretty much sums up my day! Thank goodness I'm getting free dinner. I hope there's cake.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
How to keep it together-Long Distance Styles
First off, let me say that they truly aren't for the faint of heart. Long distance relationships take a lot of work, maybe more so than a regular relationship, although I'm sure that anyone can attest that regular relationships also take a lot of work.
So here is our he said she said take on how we take our LDR in stride and work to keep it going successfully.
She Said:
-Together time. We do a lot of things together. We watch movies over the phone together. My sister called us gay! But we enjoy it. We'll rent a movie and get our timing all adjusted and sit on the couch and watch it together and usually discuss it after wards.
-Talking. We talk as much as possible. You would think that we wouldn't have much to say on the phone after a while but somehow, we manage to hardly ever have a moment where neither of us has something to say.
-Patience. Larry is very patient. I am fun, but man oh man do I have a bad temper, and before I met him, extremely bad communication skills. He has been so patient in helping me grow, making himself dependable and making sure I know that even when I might think what I am thinking is silly he still wants to know because he cares that much about me.
-Heart Meter. We kind of have a heart meter. I am a hopeless romantic. Seriously, completely hopeless. I have hardly ever had any needs met romantically unless I created them. Larry admitted that he may be bad about remembering or knowing when I need it. So I tell him periodically when I feel the need to or when he asks where my heart meter is. He is much better than he gives himself credit for and I would say only once out of the entire time we've been together have I had to say that my heart meter was low.
-Connecting. Larry and I try to connect in every way possible. We love each other that much, and I'm really not afraid or shy to tell anyone. Just the other night while we were talking and thinking if we had "a song". I dissected line by line what a certain song meant to me an how it made me think of him and us. I cried like a baby my heart was so full of love. I am truly and irrevocably blessed to have Larry in my life. I try to tell him how much I love and respect him as often as I can.
-Being realistic. We all know we have limits, even a long distance relationship can have limits. So we know that we need to connect and see each other physically every couple of months at the very most. We also have read books together: Before you say I do. Which I would recommend to everyone. We laughed as often as we fought or cried over our answers in the book, but we kept on going because it was important to both of us. We are going to get married, and it will be the last time. Divorce is not an option. So we learned more about each other, and we learned about our goals and passions. It was a very rewarding experience.
-No games. Leave the games at the door please. I think the absolute one reason we have such a successful relationship is because everything is laid out on the table. Not only have we shared more with each other than anyone else in our lives, monsters, skeletons and all, but we know what we both want. I never question or doubt where this relationship is going. I am going to marry Larry and I will change my last name for the first time. I don't know when or how or where, I just know that we are going to get married. And most likely in the next 2-3 years we will have another baby, that we have created together.
And here's the "He said" part...
Sarah is right. It's not for the faint of heart and it does take a lot of work. To clarify, close distant relationships take a lot of work too, but when you have discussions on the phone, there is a lot of non-verbal communication that you don't have. There is also the minimal physical affection that can be hard for most people.Here are my top tips:
1) Long range plans - Long distance relationships won't work forever. Eventually, you have to make plans to be with one another and develop a close distance relationship. You have to talk openly about a time table for this to happen and have an agreement amongst yourselves.
2) Honesty - There has to be complete honesty with each other even when it's going to hurt. Both people need to be able to ask any tough questions and receive truthful answers.
3) Talking - Sarah listed this one and it's worth repeating. I've talked with Sarah everyday for over a year either on the phone or in person when we were fortunate enough to visit with one another. We talk in the morning while going to work, we talk throughout the day over instant messenger, and we talk at night when we get home. It keeps one another connected.
4) Tolerance - There has to be a lot of tolerance and forgiveness with one another and understanding. This is true of any relationship, but it's worth mentioning.
5) Dates - Watching DVDs over the phone is the way we are able to do dates long distance while we're on the phone. It's another way we keep connected.
6) Visits - As much as finances and time allows, driving or flying to be with one another needs to happen. You learn to cherish the time you are physically together.Who knows if anyone benefitted from this post, but it was fun to document.Love you baby.
Turkey Day Fun!
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite, words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly there was total quiet! Not a peep was heard for over a minute!
Fearing that he had hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said..
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the difference in his attitude and as he was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the bird continued....
"May I ask what the Turkey did?"
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
It's been a silly week
Me: Do you know if Martine has the USB sticks yet? I want to get AAPS rolling.
Jill: Who's Martine?
Me: You know Martine the one who went to AAPS ::suddenly not sure of self::
::Calling to Egore:: What's that chick's name? The one with the USB's?
Egore: Nicole?
Me: Do you know if Nicole is back with the USB's (I ask nonchalantley)
Jill: ::Laughing:: Martine/Nicole ::puts hands up to mimic scale::
Me: Potato Patato
Jill: ::Huge burst of giggles:: Who says Patato?
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Me: ::on phone with Ray:: Don't make me laugh or I am going to lose it I've been giggling all day!
Ray: Oh really, well then I'll have to think of something good! Did I tell you I ordered a calendar?
Me: ::giggles:: No?
Ray: Yeah, my admin assistant called me today and asked if I knew they had to bring my calendar in a special truck. Not thinking anything of it I said 'No, who cares?'. She then said 'you did order a 4x8 calendar right?' I said 'yeah that sounds about right'. Then she paused, and said 'a 4 foot by 8 foot calendar....'
Me: ::giggling uncontrollably:: You did not order a 4ft by 8ft calendar!
Ray: Yes, yes I did. I am a moron. My office is not that big, this calendar is going to take up the entire office!
Me: Why did you order a calendar so big?
Ray: Because sometimes I don't read everything before I click submit.
Me: ::resumes mass hysteria giggling::
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Christian: You know new girl, there is an empty cubicle on the other side so you don't have to listen to these two all day. ::points to me and Denise::
Me: ::pretending to be insulted:: I don't know what you're talking about Christian.
Denise: Yeah! What's wrong with us? We're good people!
::New girl/me burst out laughing::
Denise: I've been saying that one for years and I think you two are the only one's who've ever laughed.
---------------------------------------------------------
Also, I don't know if you know this but I happen to LOVE The Office. In particular a good "That's what she said". I was entering trade show leads and some of the comments are so priceless I giggle to myself in the cube and people think I'm crazy(ier?).
Some good one's:
"....solid oral dosage"
"...says it is so hard to ease it out slowly"
Thank you and goodnight
Please explain
I try to explain that as a Canadian, I didn't really grow up with this November tradition, plus I actually like being alone. I like having a quiet house....okay it's never quite....but I like being by myself.
I'll probably be reading a book and making some turkey. See I'm still celebrating!!
Ohhh maybe I'll make pumpkin cheesecake and then they'll say: Aww Screw my family plans I want me some Sarah pumpkin cheesecake. That's right ladies n gents.
Wait, what was I saying?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Please Welcome...
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
SURPRISE!
Take lots of naps?
Get a pedicure?
Read a book?
Relax?
Take a 4 hour plane ride to Pensacola Airport, pick up a car...drive three hours to Panama city to see the love of her life look at her like she's an Alien for about 15 seconds, not understanding fully what is going on, and why his best friend is coming in with his girlfriend?
DING DING DING DING DING!!!
I leave for home Sunday morning, which of course is way too soon, but we'll cherish the few days we have together.
I'm a great surpriser!!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The Itsy Bitsy Spider!
Enjoy, she's so adorable! The Volume is high so be sure to turn it down and mind my singing.
...Are you kidding me?????
"Rent payments and any other correspondence should be sent to us, payable to us, at:
Stupid New Rent Company
123 Stupid Street
Stupid Town, ST, 12345
DO NOT SEND US PAYMENT MADE OUT TO
Please feel free to contract (yes, contract) us if you have any needs at this time. If you have maintenance needs please call us at blabbity blah.
Please contact us is you have any questions or concerns. I look forward to working with you."
Hmmmm..............
Now, those of you who know me, knew I would have a response to such a letter, and not to disappoint here it is:
I already paid rent for November 2008 I paid on the Apex property home page. Can you please confirm that this will be transferred over to you? I felt that your letter was sort of rude. You're telling us on October 30th that all of a sudden rent needs to be paid to another person and failure to do so will result in late charge? I would perhaps understand if you had sent this letter in the middle of the month, but find it distressing that you're "laying down the law" so to speak on the first of the month.
Please confirm that the rent will be transferred over to you from Apex, or let me know what steps I need to take for this to happen.
Being that you're in charge now of managing this building perhaps you can send someone out to clean the large volume of leaves currently taking up residence outside my door.
Best regards,
Sarah
Response:
I just took over management at the end of the month, so there is nothing I could have done to get the letter out any sooner. My sign was up for a few weeks, but we just got keys and leases this week. It was not meant to be rude on the timing of the letter. I will work on getting the rent transferred from Apex. The hallways and leaves will be on the list of items to deal with this week.
On a different note, there was a new vacuum put in the hallway closet for cleaning the hallways, and it was taken just days after it was put there. You are the only tenant on the ground floor near the closet (the other unit is currently vacant). I was wondering if you have seen the vacuum or thought that someone left it behind and did not want it. I am trying to work to keep the building looking good. This could just be misunderstanding, and I am not trying to blame you. Do you have any insight on this issue?
Thanks for you help
Brian
..............Seriously? Did you just accuse me of stealing a vacuum cleaner? Once again not to disappoint, my response:
First off, thank you for taking care of the leaves.
Secondly I cannot remember the last time I even opened my front door as I only use my side entrance. Furthermore, I have my own vacuum purchased about 9 months ago if you care to see the receipt. I suggest you check with the other tenants, who as the noise level would indicate, frequent the hallways more so than I. I sincerely hope you are not trying to insinuate that I stole a vacuum cleaner. I think I have more important things to worry about and deal with on a daily basis than petty theft.
Not so cordially,
Sarah
There's more but it's upsetting to me.
To sum up: New Stupid Rental Company is stupid. I hate people who are property managers, they are more often than not absolute jerks. That's why I purposefully signed with a large company.
Sigh
Friday, October 31, 2008
Halloween Pictures!
Pumpkins!
Ava prepares for Halloween by doing her best pink ghost impression!
Waiting in line for a haunted house!
Ava is Ming Ming from The Wonder pets...she's not super duck!
She's also absolutely adorable! You wouldn't know that it took me almost ten minutes to get her into this costume because she was refusing to put her arms and feet in.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Whale Watching, Bears, Hiking OH MY!!
-I'm obsessed with Ireland
-I'm obsessed with Bed and Breakfasts
-I love whale watching
-Fireplaces
-I think I'd like to try spelunking
-Victorian Homes
-I like Jazz music and actually think I have a nice Jazz voice
-pumpkins make me happy
etc. That's not really a list just and odd bunch of facts. Larry and I put together a list of ten things we would like to do before we died. Not surprisingly since we are so alike we had a lot of things in common. One thing that he had on his list that I did not was to visit Denali park after the wolf cubs have been born. (This was ALLL pre Palin, so don't go there). I immediately needed to know more about it. While we were on the phone I was looking at the Denali state park website and checking out various other websites of places to stay and things to do and I am officially hooked! Since then I signed up for a B&B newsletter, which would alert me to hot deals in certain areas that you are interested in. They've been sending me some great deals which are just absolutely breathtaking. I mean Alaska really is a beautiful place...as long as you're not going during their summer (Mid May -Mid August) I don't do mosquitoes. There are so many things we want to do, many of which are listed above. I would love to take Larry Whale watching. I've been off the east coast when I was visiting New Brunswick. Then they have this tour where you can take a helicopter ride and see Black bears catching wild Salmon and playing by the rivers, and countless countless other activities. Including of course if we can, seeing the wild wolf cubs.
So I sigh a little at all of the beautiful B&B's that are sent to my inbox and dream about our Alaskan vacation!
Monday, October 27, 2008
I build stuff
Thursday, October 23, 2008
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
NO STOCKINGS!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Deep Breath
So I received a call back from the job I had applied for way back when. They had been pushed back because of AOP planning, so...I wasn't hearing much from the new prospective job...and surprise surprise I wasn't hearing much from the new potential promotion from my current position.
So as soon as I receive my call this week, I tell my manager to let her know that I have a 3 hour interview (I hope I get bathroom breaks). I email my boss's manager to ask him if it is okay to use him as a reference. He emails back saying of course, but that he would also: "Surely like to find a career path growth for you within Marcom Ops, if that's possible and of interest"
::Sigh::
While I appreciate that he wants to keep me on the team, why wasn't more urgency put into creating a promotion for me in the past few weeks? Why now when I am facing an interview? Well because the potential of losing me becomes that much more of a reality of course. But don't they realize that if I was offered this new position I would take it over just a "possibility of career growth within Marcom Ops?".
::Sigh::
I guess I'm frustrated because if I don't get this job I feel like trying to please me is going to die down again. And I'll have to fight twice as hard if I want to get them to push the promotion.
::Sigh::
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Being politically correct has gone too far
You probably missed the story, but Sony has recalled a video game that it was getting ready to release very soon. Was it the violence? Was it the blood and gore? Was it the language? Nope. It was because "One of the background music tracks that was licensed from a record label for use in the game contains two expressions that can be found in the Qur'an". Source: http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE49J75I20081020
The game is called Little Big Planet and it's basically like Super Mario if you remember that from the old Nintendo. The cool parts about this game is that you can actually make your own levels and share them on the internet and solve the puzzles with your friends. So instead of having to hand your controller over to the next person in line, 4 people can play at the same time over the internet or even at your own house to solve these puzzles which require you to work together. I won't bore you with some of the other cool details about the game.
Back to my complaint... This is pretty ridiculous. Even the president of the non-profit American Islamic Forum for Democracy disagrees with this move by Sony. Source: http://www.psxextreme.com/ps3-news/3978.html It wasn't even that the music was speaking negatively of the Islam or the Qur'an. It was quoting some of the writing and the song was even by a Muslim. I highly doubt that any Christians would object to a game that had music in a game and part of the music was quoting parts of the bible. Maybe those Japanese executives over in Japan don't understand the freedom of speech.
We're going too far to be politically correct. Make it stop.
Friday, October 17, 2008
The history of Chuck Norris' awesomeness
- Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
- Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
- Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
- Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
- Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
- Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
- If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
- Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
- Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain,the cobra died.
- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibilityof failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
- Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
- Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
- Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
- Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
- Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soulback. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday ofthe month.
- When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
- If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
- Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
- If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
- Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
- Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
- Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
- Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
- Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
- Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
- The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
- Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.
- A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.
- Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
- Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
- Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
- Chuck Norris keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. Nobody ever asks him for his ID.
- Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
- Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.
Pizza, this is about Pizza!
So I have been looking for a good pizza dough recipe for about 4 years now, every recipe says oh you need a good pizza stone blah blah blah, what's wrong with my $3 aluminum pan? Everything...that's what's wrong Sarah Everything. I went to BB&B and used one of their 20% off coupons and bought a pizza stone, still a little bit skeptic....After one use, I am now a Pizza Stone Fanatic! Let me tell you people, you have not had homemade pizza until you have made it with a pizza stone. It completely makes all of the difference! Not only did it cook my pizza perfectly but it made the crust sort of crunchy on the outside but nice and soft on the inside! NY style! Exactly what I have been looking for for four long years!
Enjoy ma pictures! I also made my own pizza sauce!
1. Is of homemade sauce, and turkey peperoni/mushroom pizza.
2. Turkey Peperoni/Mushroom post pizza stone baking!
3. BEST pizza ever! Pesto, Turkey Peperoni and tomato!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Politics according to Harlem
http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=78a33e2fc342c62dd2db6fb9a8902bda
In a fatal car crash eh? Diagnosis: Syphilis
I'm pretty sure it's because they just received a new shipment of splints and their stock was high. I texted Larry that the doctor thought it was carpal tunnel, his response? "In your neck?" This made me laugh for a good ten minutes as I could only imagine the confused look on his face.
We then on the way home began discussing how we could diagnose people.
Bleeding finger? Diagnosis: Athletes foot
Runny nose? Diagnosis: Stomach Ulcer
Hang nail? Diagnosis: Small Pox
Then of course there was the wise advice from the doctor:
Doctor Man: If you're feeling any discomfort just go ahead and take some Advil or Aleeve.
Me: Well...I can't because I'm on Coumadin.
Doctor Man: Oh....right....well too bad for you then huh?
Me: Yes I suppose
To sum up: Next week I will be diagnosed with extremely rare strain of malaria.
To sum up further: Doctors are slowly trying to kill me with Advil.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Fall into some Pumpkin Fun!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Fun Pictures!
This was one of only two pictures we took of all four of us together. Too bad Joseph isn't looking...and too bad Ava looks like she's trying to seduce someone...
Here's one just before we went into a paddle boat...it was awkward because we had so much stuff with the kids. Their faces make me laugh!
We had just fed the Giraffe! This is one of my favorite photos and my favorite thing to do at the Zoo!
Don't you love our windblown sillyness?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Debate so far
2. McCain is Maverlicious "I'll answer the question" (referring to Social Security/Medicare question)
3. I think it's cute that McCain can't hear some of the questions.
4. Drinking games with this debate aren't as easy to come by...I'm not drunk at all.
5. Maverick
6. I kind of want one or both of them to randomly drop the mic while speaking.
7. Tom Brokaw is getting really pissed. At least one of us is drunk.
8. Red Light Green Light.
9. I think the random people asking questions wish they were watching The Office.
10. McCain is making funny faces at Obama while he's answering the questions.
To sum up: I should start drinking every time they go over their minute...then I'd be plenty drunk.
Monday, October 6, 2008
10 Things 10 Cards -Day 5
This is kind of a close shot eh? This card features a stamping technique using a post it. I stamped the big pumpkin first with a post it in the corner so I could stamp the smaller pumpkin, almost inside of the big pumpkin. Then the last pumpkin is stamped with a post it covering the middle pumpkin. I then cut out the leaves and adhered them to the card.
These are some of the containers I decorated, they have candy inside!
I'm not feeling well so I'll post the other things later.
Friday, October 3, 2008
I'm sorry I didn't tell you all sooner...I hope you will all forgive me...
http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=379346&altf=Tbsbi&altl=Dpvup
Friday Fun!
Here's his list:
Movie Quotes counting down in order of importance
10) Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Robin Hood: Kindly let me pass.
Little John: Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls.
[Proudly]
Little John: I made that up.
Robin Hood: It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.
9) Rush Hour 2
James Carter: Who died, Lee?
Lee: You!
James Carter: Detective Yu?
Lee: Not Yu, you!
James Carter: Who?
Lee: You!
James Carter: Who?
Lee: Do you understand the words that are a-coming out of my mouth?
James Carter: Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth.
8) Shanghai Noon
Chon Wang: [shaking his hand] My name is Chon Wang.
Roy O'Bannon: John Wayne?
Chon Wang: Chon Wang.
Roy O'Bannon: That's a terrible cowboy name!
7) Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail
Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!
6) Spaceballs
Dark Helmet: So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb
5) Talladega Nights
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are *terrible* boys!
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah!
Ricky Bobby: Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby: Come on!
Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
Chip: Are you just going to let your sons talk to their grandfather like this?
Ricky Bobby: Hell yes I am! They are winners! That is how winners talk!
Carley Bobby: If we wanted two wussies, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman!
4) Fight Club
Narrator: After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.
3) Beauty and the Beast
Beast: I want to do something for her... but what?
Cogsworth: Well, there's the usual things: flowers... chocolates... promises you don't intend to keep...
2) Finding Nemo
Marlin: If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny, and I know funny. I'm a clownfish.
1) Gladiator
Maximus: What we do in life echoes in eternity.
Here's my list
In no particular order:
Ever After
Henry: [as Danielle rushes away] Have we met?
Danielle: I do not believe so, Your Highness.
Henry: I could have sworn I knew every courtier in the providence.
Danielle: Well, I'm visiting a cousin.
Henry: Who?
Danielle: My cousin.
Henry: Yes, you said that. Which one?
Danielle: Th-the only one I have, sire.
Henry: Are you coy on purpose or do you honestly refuse to tell me your name?
Danielle: [stops quickly] No.
[quickly heads towards the gate]
Danielle: And yes.
Henry: Well, then, pray tell me your cousin's name so that I might call upon her
to learn who you are. For anyone who can quote Thomas More is well worth the effort.
When Harry Met Sally
I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you,
I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Monty Python
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel...
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
Wizard of Oz
Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable...
Blades of Glory
Chazz: The night is a very dark time for me.
Jimmy: Its dark for everyone, moron!
Chazz: Not for Alaskans or dudes with night-vision goggles.
Tommy Boy
Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?
Richard: No your face does
[checking Tommy’s outfit, pulls off his tie]
Tommy: [laughing] It's a clip on
Richard: ha ha are ya sure?
Casablanca
Ilsa: I can't fight it anymore. I ran away from you once. I can't do it again. Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us.
Rick: All right, I will. Here's looking at you, kid.
Ilsa: [smiles] I wish I didn't love you so much.
Evan Almighty
God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
Babe
Ferdinand: I suppose the life of an anorexic duck doesn't amount to much in the broad scheme of things.
Chicken Run
Fowler: Pushy Americans, always showing up late for every war.
Overpaid, oversexed, and over here!
Shawshank Redemption
On Red's harmonica playing.]
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.
Forget that there are places in the world that aren't made out of stone.
That there's a - there's a - there's something inside that's yours, that they can't touch.
Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't take that away from you.
We would love to hear all of your favorites!!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I will probably be getting a boat soon...
Then Mr. Voice over comes on and says "...Paying your energy bills online will reduce the amount of paper we waste each year, and it allows you to have more time with your family...blah blah..."
So to sum up: pay your bills online and they will send you a boat. I'm pretty sure that's what the ad was all about.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
blarg!
Almost everyone suggested I wasn't getting the right medical advice/attention regarding this, and suggested I see a Hematologist (someone who specializes in blood, I googled it). So I have an appointment on Nov 14th which was the next available appointment. Some are satisfied with the appointment me, some think it should be sooner coughcoughLarrycoughcough.
In other news McDonalds is running Monopoly on Oct 7th. I generally don't even like McDonald's and only eat there when forced...except when they play Monopoly. Then it suddenly becomes a tantalizing gourmet meal. Why is it we love McDonald's during Monopoly so much? Or is it just me?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmonopoly!
Monday, September 29, 2008
No no...oooh there it goes
Step 1. Whilst eating only the icing with her fingers, I showed Ava that you can actually take a bite into the cupcake. So this picture displays how incredibly happy this new found method of getting more icing into her mouth at one time makes her.
Step 2: She then proceeds to shove entire cupcake in face to ensure maximum input of icing into mouth. However the one flaw is that icing also gets all over face and into nasal cavity...
Step 3: How do you get icing out of you nasal cavity? By inserting your already covered with icing finger up there of course! Hilarity ensued.
Friday, September 26, 2008
10 Things 10 Cards -Day 4
This is one of my favorites. It features three different card stocks cut into strips, the blue and grey card stock on the end actually has felt in the white dots, so it has texture! :)
The one I ended up doing for the show is a little different, but same idea.
1. I had my appendix taken out when I was 17.
2. I still have the scar on my belly.
3. In grade 5 we were ice skating at a local skating rink. I fell on my butt and just laid on the ice, probably because I was tired of falling. A boy I knew said "Let's skate over Sarah's face". And proceeded to lift one leg over successfully, but the other not so successfully. He ended up nicking the top of my nose, which I was unaware of. I sat up and blood starting flowing down my face while everyone screamed. I don't remember crying, because I don't think it hurt that much. I got to eat chocolate and I had 4 stitches. I think I still have the scar, it's really tiny but I can sometimes see it in photographs.
4. I can't decide if I am more of a dog person or a cat person. Seeing as I only have fish right now, and I don't have to do much with them, like clean up poop and buy expensive food....maybe I'm neither.
5. Pink is my absolute favorite colour.
6. I like criticism...when it is valid and not malicious. And I don't feel like when I make something for my coworkers they are always able to tell me anything I could do to make it better. They seem to be more grateful for the treat that they didn't have to make themselves.
7. I pray for a lot of people on the blogs almost every night.
8. I make really really yummy Ground Turkey Chili.
9. I'm allergic to any dark sodas.
10. And Beef.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
10 Things 10 Cards - Day 3
This one is pretty cute, it features a dark purple card stock, the "Let it Snow" is stamped, then coloured in with marker. I think put glitter above the i in it, and on the snowman's hat.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I knew I would get around to this eventually!
This card features textured rust coloured cardstock and I've stamped the leaves in the background. I then Stamped the two pumpkin images onto different styled cardstock, cut them out and adhered everything to the card.
1. I absolutely hate to be called Ma'am. You have no idea how much that annoys me. I am 25 years old! Not 100! Where did Miss go? argh!
2. I only use Helman's low fat mayo. I don't like tangy zips.
3. I hate Ribs and Chicken wings. Although I will eat Chicken wings and I'm sure Ribs taste just fine, I absolutely detest having my fingers dirty/messy. (No inappropriate jokes needed)
4. One of the places I miss most is the gigantic Park near the Inn on the Park hotel.
6. I'm absolutely heartbroken that my Father and Sister have not spoken in over a year. And I happen to think they are both being immature and childish. They are also both right and both wrong, and should get over themselves.
7. My regular Sub from Subway is a footlong oven roasted chicken breast on whole wheat, toasted with lettuce, tomato, lots of green peppers, a little bit of light mayo and southwest chipotle sauce.
8. I absolutely love coffee. You have no idea how much I love it. We're BFF.
9. Everytime Ava turns another year old I am sad.
10. I'm afraid someone is going to start something at Ava's birthday party this weekend...
Friday, September 19, 2008
Ten Things Ten Cards - Day 1
This card (which you can't see most of even though I used that stupid flower setting) is on a textured cream cardstock, with the green and red cardstock layered on top. I stamped the Christmas tree image, and Season's Greetings in Versamark, and then used some silver embossing powder, and a heat gun to melt the embossing powder leaving me a great image of the Christmas tree. I'm really happy with the way it turned out. I think it looks great.