Thursday, November 27, 2008

How to keep it together-Long Distance Styles

So, as per a semi Rantz request, I thought I would be so kind as to divulge some secrets that Larry and I do to maintain our long distance relationship.

First off, let me say that they truly aren't for the faint of heart. Long distance relationships take a lot of work, maybe more so than a regular relationship, although I'm sure that anyone can attest that regular relationships also take a lot of work.

So here is our he said she said take on how we take our LDR in stride and work to keep it going successfully.

She Said:
-Together time. We do a lot of things together. We watch movies over the phone together. My sister called us gay! But we enjoy it. We'll rent a movie and get our timing all adjusted and sit on the couch and watch it together and usually discuss it after wards.

-Talking. We talk as much as possible. You would think that we wouldn't have much to say on the phone after a while but somehow, we manage to hardly ever have a moment where neither of us has something to say.

-Patience. Larry is very patient. I am fun, but man oh man do I have a bad temper, and before I met him, extremely bad communication skills. He has been so patient in helping me grow, making himself dependable and making sure I know that even when I might think what I am thinking is silly he still wants to know because he cares that much about me.

-Heart Meter. We kind of have a heart meter. I am a hopeless romantic. Seriously, completely hopeless. I have hardly ever had any needs met romantically unless I created them. Larry admitted that he may be bad about remembering or knowing when I need it. So I tell him periodically when I feel the need to or when he asks where my heart meter is. He is much better than he gives himself credit for and I would say only once out of the entire time we've been together have I had to say that my heart meter was low.

-Connecting. Larry and I try to connect in every way possible. We love each other that much, and I'm really not afraid or shy to tell anyone. Just the other night while we were talking and thinking if we had "a song". I dissected line by line what a certain song meant to me an how it made me think of him and us. I cried like a baby my heart was so full of love. I am truly and irrevocably blessed to have Larry in my life. I try to tell him how much I love and respect him as often as I can.

-Being realistic. We all know we have limits, even a long distance relationship can have limits. So we know that we need to connect and see each other physically every couple of months at the very most. We also have read books together: Before you say I do. Which I would recommend to everyone. We laughed as often as we fought or cried over our answers in the book, but we kept on going because it was important to both of us. We are going to get married, and it will be the last time. Divorce is not an option. So we learned more about each other, and we learned about our goals and passions. It was a very rewarding experience.

-No games. Leave the games at the door please. I think the absolute one reason we have such a successful relationship is because everything is laid out on the table. Not only have we shared more with each other than anyone else in our lives, monsters, skeletons and all, but we know what we both want. I never question or doubt where this relationship is going. I am going to marry Larry and I will change my last name for the first time. I don't know when or how or where, I just know that we are going to get married. And most likely in the next 2-3 years we will have another baby, that we have created together.

And here's the "He said" part...

Sarah is right. It's not for the faint of heart and it does take a lot of work. To clarify, close distant relationships take a lot of work too, but when you have discussions on the phone, there is a lot of non-verbal communication that you don't have. There is also the minimal physical affection that can be hard for most people.Here are my top tips:

1) Long range plans - Long distance relationships won't work forever. Eventually, you have to make plans to be with one another and develop a close distance relationship. You have to talk openly about a time table for this to happen and have an agreement amongst yourselves.

2) Honesty - There has to be complete honesty with each other even when it's going to hurt. Both people need to be able to ask any tough questions and receive truthful answers.

3) Talking - Sarah listed this one and it's worth repeating. I've talked with Sarah everyday for over a year either on the phone or in person when we were fortunate enough to visit with one another. We talk in the morning while going to work, we talk throughout the day over instant messenger, and we talk at night when we get home. It keeps one another connected.

4) Tolerance - There has to be a lot of tolerance and forgiveness with one another and understanding. This is true of any relationship, but it's worth mentioning.

5) Dates - Watching DVDs over the phone is the way we are able to do dates long distance while we're on the phone. It's another way we keep connected.

6) Visits - As much as finances and time allows, driving or flying to be with one another needs to happen. You learn to cherish the time you are physically together.Who knows if anyone benefitted from this post, but it was fun to document.Love you baby.

Turkey Day Fun!

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite, words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly there was total quiet! Not a peep was heard for over a minute!

Fearing that he had hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said..

"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the difference in his attitude and as he was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the bird continued....

"May I ask what the Turkey did?"

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

It's been a silly week

Some conversations from the past week or so: (Coworkers names have been altered)

Me: Do you know if Martine has the USB sticks yet? I want to get AAPS rolling.
Jill: Who's Martine?
Me: You know Martine the one who went to AAPS ::suddenly not sure of self::
::Calling to Egore:: What's that chick's name? The one with the USB's?
Egore: Nicole?
Me: Do you know if Nicole is back with the USB's (I ask nonchalantley)
Jill: ::Laughing:: Martine/Nicole ::puts hands up to mimic scale::
Me: Potato Patato
Jill: ::Huge burst of giggles:: Who says Patato?

Me: ::on phone with Ray:: Don't make me laugh or I am going to lose it I've been giggling all day!
Ray: Oh really, well then I'll have to think of something good! Did I tell you I ordered a calendar?
Me: ::giggles:: No?
Ray: Yeah, my admin assistant called me today and asked if I knew they had to bring my calendar in a special truck. Not thinking anything of it I said 'No, who cares?'. She then said 'you did order a 4x8 calendar right?' I said 'yeah that sounds about right'. Then she paused, and said 'a 4 foot by 8 foot calendar....'
Me: ::giggling uncontrollably:: You did not order a 4ft by 8ft calendar!
Ray: Yes, yes I did. I am a moron. My office is not that big, this calendar is going to take up the entire office!
Me: Why did you order a calendar so big?
Ray: Because sometimes I don't read everything before I click submit.
Me: ::resumes mass hysteria giggling::


Christian: You know new girl, there is an empty cubicle on the other side so you don't have to listen to these two all day. ::points to me and Denise::
Me: ::pretending to be insulted:: I don't know what you're talking about Christian.
Denise: Yeah! What's wrong with us? We're good people!
::New girl/me burst out laughing::
Denise: I've been saying that one for years and I think you two are the only one's who've ever laughed.


Also, I don't know if you know this but I happen to LOVE The Office. In particular a good "That's what she said". I was entering trade show leads and some of the comments are so priceless I giggle to myself in the cube and people think I'm crazy(ier?).

Some good one's:

"....solid oral dosage"

"...says it is so hard to ease it out slowly"

Thank you and goodnight

Please explain

Everyone is acting so strangely. When they find out that I have no plans for Thanksgiving (as Ava will be with her Dad), they all scrunch their faces and say "awwwww" and then proceed to invite me to wherever they are going.

I try to explain that as a Canadian, I didn't really grow up with this November tradition, plus I actually like being alone. I like having a quiet house....okay it's never quite....but I like being by myself.

I'll probably be reading a book and making some turkey. See I'm still celebrating!!

Ohhh maybe I'll make pumpkin cheesecake and then they'll say: Aww Screw my family plans I want me some Sarah pumpkin cheesecake. That's right ladies n gents.

Wait, what was I saying?

Friday, November 21, 2008


What happens if you're scared half to death twice?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hey Diddle Diddle

Apparently I sing a good Hey Diddle Diddle.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Please Welcome...

The newest member of our family. She was created this Saturday at the Children's museum. Her name is Esmerelda Sassypants the third. She has a regal skirt of red silk fashioned with a hip ribbed belt. An elegant shirt consisting of the finest walpaper known to man. Her hair is like thick wooly yarn, not to be outdone by her regal hat fasioned from an old, I mean regal pine cone. She currently resides on the shelf in our dining room.

And for your enjoyment, Ava McSassy pants in her mitts, hat and scarf...take a good look at this because she never lets me put a hat on her!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

To sum up...

I had flavorless coffee at the Pensacola Airport...and a flavorless danish.

Friday, November 7, 2008


So this week, I found myself with umm 5 or so days off without Ava. Her grandma gets lonely and constantly asks to have her for a little while. So I gave in and said yes...what would one do with almost 5 days without her child?
Take lots of naps?
Get a pedicure?
Read a book?

Take a 4 hour plane ride to Pensacola Airport, pick up a three hours to Panama city to see the love of her life look at her like she's an Alien for about 15 seconds, not understanding fully what is going on, and why his best friend is coming in with his girlfriend?


I leave for home Sunday morning, which of course is way too soon, but we'll cherish the few days we have together.

I'm a great surpriser!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Itsy Bitsy Spider!

Enjoy, she's so adorable! The Volume is high so be sure to turn it down and mind my singing.

...Are you kidding me?????

So I received a letter in the mail on Saturday letting me know that we have all of a sudden changed rental companies...yadda yadda. Fine, I don't care as long as someone disposes of the gigantic life size pile of leaves in front of my door. However, what I don't appreciate is this portion of the letter (these are direct quotes, spelling mistakes and all):
"Rent payments and any other correspondence should be sent to us, payable to us, at:
Stupid New Rent Company
123 Stupid Street
Stupid Town, ST, 12345


Please feel free to contract (yes, contract) us if you have any needs at this time. If you have maintenance needs please call us at blabbity blah.

Please contact us is you have any questions or concerns. I look forward to working with you."

Now, those of you who know me, knew I would have a response to such a letter, and not to disappoint here it is:

I already paid rent for November 2008 I paid on the Apex property home page. Can you please confirm that this will be transferred over to you? I felt that your letter was sort of rude. You're telling us on October 30th that all of a sudden rent needs to be paid to another person and failure to do so will result in late charge? I would perhaps understand if you had sent this letter in the middle of the month, but find it distressing that you're "laying down the law" so to speak on the first of the month.

Please confirm that the rent will be transferred over to you from Apex, or let me know what steps I need to take for this to happen.

Being that you're in charge now of managing this building perhaps you can send someone out to clean the large volume of leaves currently taking up residence outside my door.

Best regards,

I just took over management at the end of the month, so there is nothing I could have done to get the letter out any sooner. My sign was up for a few weeks, but we just got keys and leases this week. It was not meant to be rude on the timing of the letter. I will work on getting the rent transferred from Apex. The hallways and leaves will be on the list of items to deal with this week.

On a different note, there was a new vacuum put in the hallway closet for cleaning the hallways, and it was taken just days after it was put there. You are the only tenant on the ground floor near the closet (the other unit is currently vacant). I was wondering if you have seen the vacuum or thought that someone left it behind and did not want it. I am trying to work to keep the building looking good. This could just be misunderstanding, and I am not trying to blame you. Do you have any insight on this issue?

Thanks for you help

..............Seriously? Did you just accuse me of stealing a vacuum cleaner? Once again not to disappoint, my response:

First off, thank you for taking care of the leaves.

Secondly I cannot remember the last time I even opened my front door as I only use my side entrance. Furthermore, I have my own vacuum purchased about 9 months ago if you care to see the receipt. I suggest you check with the other tenants, who as the noise level would indicate, frequent the hallways more so than I. I sincerely hope you are not trying to insinuate that I stole a vacuum cleaner. I think I have more important things to worry about and deal with on a daily basis than petty theft.

Not so cordially,

There's more but it's upsetting to me.

To sum up: New Stupid Rental Company is stupid. I hate people who are property managers, they are more often than not absolute jerks. That's why I purposefully signed with a large company.