I've determined that the doctors treating me just aren't even trying anymore. They have most likely just given up. I went in to the after hours clinic because I was experiencing a sharp pain in my shoulders and numbness that followed in my neck and arms. Diagnosis: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
I'm pretty sure it's because they just received a new shipment of splints and their stock was high. I texted Larry that the doctor thought it was carpal tunnel, his response? "In your neck?" This made me laugh for a good ten minutes as I could only imagine the confused look on his face.
We then on the way home began discussing how we could diagnose people.
Bleeding finger? Diagnosis: Athletes foot
Runny nose? Diagnosis: Stomach Ulcer
Hang nail? Diagnosis: Small Pox
Then of course there was the wise advice from the doctor:
Doctor Man: If you're feeling any discomfort just go ahead and take some Advil or Aleeve.
Me: Well...I can't because I'm on Coumadin.
Doctor Man: Oh....right....well too bad for you then huh?
Me: Yes I suppose
To sum up: Next week I will be diagnosed with extremely rare strain of malaria.
To sum up further: Doctors are slowly trying to kill me with Advil.