Thursday, December 4, 2008

Another bad day

Dear Parking Enforcement dude out at 3am,

I am sorry I parked on the wrong side of the street, how could anyone possibly remember your crazy rules. Take your $20 and buy some gloves.

Signed,

Sarah

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Dear Coworker who emails me about everything,

I do not care if you are taking lunch at 11. Your cubicle is directly across from mine. Please stop emailing me something that would take you less time to tell me directly.

Signed,

Sarah
P.S. Please take out "Thank you in advance" out of your signature since it rarely makes sense to your actual message.

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Dear Whiny San Jose Branch,

Please stop complaining about everything. I really am very tired of having to deal with every runny nose. It is -13 degrees Celsius up here, we have enough runny noses to last us a while.

Signed,

Sarah

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Dear Blemishes,

In case you didn't receive the notice, I'm not 14 anymore. Please vacate my face and find a small teenage boy to torment.

Signed,

Sarah

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Dear Thoughtful coworker who found Canadian Smarties in America,

Thank you.

Signed,

Sarah

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Dear Stomach,

Please decide what you would like to consume for dinner before 5pm so that brain can plan. Thank you.

Signed,

Sarah

9 comments:

Maverick Larry said...

Pure comedic genius.

David'Z RantZ said...

Just curious: I've seen you comment on two different blogs using the word "hogwash." Coincidence? I think not. I missed an in-joke someplace, right?

Sarah said...

What???? I said Hogwash more than once?

Balderdash!

David'Z RantZ said...

Yes, indeedy. Once in my comments section, and once in IANO's.

David'Z RantZ said...

By the way, I may get a whole post based on a memory spurred by your first "letter."

Sarah said...

You forgot cake's

David'Z RantZ said...

Oh. I missed that one. Sometimes I don't read the comments unless I'm leav- HEY!!! I was RIGHT!!! You ARE leaving hogwashes all over the place!

paul howley said...

Very humorous blog!

Sarah said...

Thanks Paul! Glad you're enjoying!