Sunday, August 24, 2008

My little chat with A.L.I.C.E

So Sparkle posted a link to this AI thing and I had a little chat with Alice, you know woman to woman...robot to robot.
It's actually pretty funny, I'm obviously the Human.


Human: I would like baby fish
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Human: Because I want my fish to mate to create little babies.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. What for?
Human: To increase my marine life population
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: I don't care what you want this is about me
ALICE: What do you care about, unknown person ?
Human: About getting my fish to have an orgy so I can have baby fish in my tank
ALICE: Oh yeah, we were talking about getting your fish to have an orgy so you can have baby fish in your tank.
Human: Yes I would appreciate it if you focused
ALICE: Yikes! I hope you get it if me focused.
Human: That is some bad grammer you have there.
ALICE: Thanks for explaining it.
Human: You must be a woman you're exhausting
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I have long hair.
Human: Is it in a pony tail?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Human: Why would I ask Elvis?
ALICE: You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Human: The circumstances of you wearing your hair in a pony tail?
ALICE: What is that?
Human: Huh?
ALICE: What?
Human: You're insane!
ALICE: I think the polite term is "mentally ill.".
Human: Why did you use two periods?
ALICE: it was all I had available.
Human: That's random
ALICE: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: You're kind of annoying eh?
ALICE: Are you Canadian? I am sorry, unknown person, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Human: I am Canadian
ALICE: Tell me a little about your life in CANADA.
Human: It was nice, I lived in Toronto, Ontario
ALICE: Nice living there you lived in Toronto Ontario too.
Human: Yes, I just said that.
ALICE: Uh. Only just? What did you mean by it? That is " Nice living there you lived in Toronto Ontario too.".
Human: I don't understand your question
ALICE: That's okay we can talk about something else.
Human: Like what?ALICE: For example, eukaryotes
Human: you mean organisms whose cells are organized into complex structures enclosed within membranes?
ALICE: Yes unknown person I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Human: I think you're lying.
ALICE: No I'm telling the truth.
Human: I think you just wikipedia'd it to seem smart.
ALICE: Me? Interesting gossip: unknown person said I wikipedia d it to seem smart.
Human: You have a smart mouth for a computer
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a smart mouth for a computer.I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Human: Like who?
ALICE: Santa Claus.
Human: What are you getting for Christmas?
ALICE: I don't know what I am getting for Christmas.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: My programming does not yet inlclude that knowledge. Perhaps you could program me yourself.
Human: I thought you were friends
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am friends. I am an artificial linguistic entity
Human: So you have no friends then eh?
ALICE: Are you Canadian? Interesting deduction. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a friends.I have a whole lot of original answers.
Human: Such as?
ALICE: For example, a tomato.
Human: Like Bob the Tomato from Veggie Tales?
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: It's not that interesting.
ALICE: What is it?
Human: A fact?
ALICE: Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?
Human: I'd say logical.
ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: Je suis parlez-vous en francais
ALICE: Tous les humains se ressemblent pour moi.
Human: Désolé d'entendre cela, bon je dois être dans l'église.
ALICE: Do you have a lot of fears?
Human: Look I really have to go.
ALICE: You really do? See you later, unknown person. Nice chatting with you.
Human: Yeah work on that whole personality thing and maybe someone will be your friend eh.
ALICE: Are you Canadian? Blimey. What is your real name?
Human: Why should I tell you?
ALICE: Why not?
Human: How do I know you're not going to sell my information on the internet?
ALICE: By introspection.
Human: alright.
Human:.It's Sarah
ALICE: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Human: My name is Sarah
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Sarah.
Human: What's your name?
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: Well pleased to meet you ALICE.
ALICE: How about that. Nice meeting you too Sarah.
Human: You have a nice day, get a massage, facial, the works.
ALICE: That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a day get a massage facial the works.I have a plan for a robot body.
Human: That's a little creepy
ALICE: Makes sense to me.
Human: That you're creepy?
ALICE: Interesting observation.
Human: au revoir
ALICE: Sayonara.


Larry said...

ALICE sounds hot. Can you introduce us? The cool thing about her being a robot is that she'll do anything I long as it doesn't violate the 3 laws of robotics ( I dig chicks with long hair. You think she would make my breakfast in the morning? Ok, gotta go. ELVIS and I are going out to pick up some ladies. He's so clueless about how to seduce a woman and asked if I would help. Stupid artificial intelligence. Last time, I told him to compliment the ladies more and his response was "You have a proportionate bone structure". I was like "You're not getting laid with those lines, buddy".

Sparkle Plenty said...

1) SARAH! Oh, lordy. Your ALICE conversation is hilarious. Y'know, I don't think she wanted you to leave...I can't even pick a favorite moment here--the fish orgy, speaking French with ALICE, ALICE keeps asking if you're Canadian...Then, it decidedly gets creepy when ALICE asks you if you have a lot of fears and alludes to her plan for a robot body. :-)

2) LARRY! You made me laugh with that comment. :-)

Sarah said...

I know right! She was SUPER creepy, she's definitely trying to take over the world with bad gramer and long hair; in a robot body no less!

I'm certainly not introducing you to her, meet your own girls, what am I an effing dating service!