Dear President Obama,

Congratulations on being inaugurated.

Below you will see a screen shot I cleverly saved after inputting my information into your tax calculator.

You know where I live so you can send the money at any time.

Sincerely,

Sarah

P.S. I'm watching you buddy.

THIS JUST IN!!!

LARRY SHAVED HIS GOATEE OFF!

Sorry I know I'm the only one who cares but I still can't believe it.

(He looks totally hot...HOT btw)

That is all.

Stop...Just stop it

I can't take it anymore. If my coworker sends me ONE more sob story email about why she is not coming into work I will smack her. Or possible shoot a cannon in her general direction...

Here is the context of today's email. Granted we are experiencing cold weather and -20 wind chills blah blah blah but you live in this weather and you chose to live an hour away from where you work. I have no sympathy.

I just wanted to let you know that I will be staying at home today again. I just cannot see it being a good idea taking Thor out in this weather to ride in the vehicle for about 1 to 1 ½ hours in this weather. To switch to another vehicle and drive 30 more minutes. I am truly sorry about this; if it was just husband & I we would have no problems driving but if it is all of us I just don’t see it being a good idea. Of course I will be working from home so if you need me call or email

This is yesterday's

I am sorry but because of the cold weather I am just staying home with Thor. I cannot see putting him at risk out in this weather. I will work from home as much as possible. If you need me please call and again sorry.

WHAT RISK?
It's not as if she drives a convertable with the top down 24/7 she drives an effing minivan. Heat the stupid car up and he won't even know what's going on! I hate people.

My theory? She knows she's being a wimp and that's why she apologizes so much. Bunch of crap this is.

I replied to her email and said: Next time you intend to send an email like this I shall require you insert violin music.

I guess that's why I always receive a DO (Development Opportunity) on my PMD in the area of interpersonal skills......

Who's in the mood to carry a Fat Princess?

This is Larry here. So, one of my coworkers clearly does not have enough to do at work. He's usually on the internet about half the day looking for the latest video games news. I'm ok with it because I just sit back and enjoy the fruits of his searching while I do my work. I've smiled and nodded at most of his findings, but he came across this new game that looks like it's going to be really fun. Everyone get ready for .......... Fat Princess.

As you can see by the video, it's a very cartoonish looking game. It's a multiplayer game for the Playstation 3.....sorry for you XBOX losers. The main premise is that the teams are divided into 2. Each side has the opponent's Princess in their own castle. The object is to make it to the opponent's castle, pick up your team's Princess, and carry your fair maiden back to your own castle. Sounds easy? The funny part is that you can find slices of cake around the entire level that you can feed to the opponent's Princess in order to fatten her up and make it more difficult for the other team to carry her. Throw in the fact that you can beat up on the opponents, kill them, and make them start back over at their castle and you have a game with lots of multiplayer goodness. I just hope they include the capability to voice chat with your teamates so you can coordinate together and help each other.

http://ces.gamespot.com/story.html?sid=6203034&tag=topslot;title;4

For IANO

I thought she had your colouring...

Dear ____________

Dear Geist Family,

Your boxes are huge! I cannot fit them in my car!

Sincerely,

Sarah

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Dear Coworker,

I don't want to hear your sob story of why you're not going to "risk your child's life" just because it is snowy/cold/icy out. If you're not coming in, just say: 'I'm not coming in today'.

Sincerely,

Sarah

P.S. If you continue to send these emails I will request that you insert violin music.

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Dear pushy lady trying to make me look bad,

Keep trying, you just look weird and pushy to everyone.

Sincerely,

Sarah

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Dear Landlord,

Please remove my f*&#^ing snow from my walkway or I'm coming for you.

Sincerely,

Sarah

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Dear Car,

Please stop all of this 'I refuse to start' nonsense. It's getting old, and I will trade you in. Don't make me threaten you again!

Sincerely,

Sarah

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Dear Executive Man,

Stop looking at me in that weird way, it's creeping me out.

Sincerely,

Sarah

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Stupid questions of the day

Me: ::eating my sandwhich::
Coworker: Are you eating lunch?
Me: ::blank stare::

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Random lady walks by desk and see's my jar of peanut butter:
"So you like peanut butter?"
Me: ::blank stare::

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Boss Lady: Do you want to go to lunch?
Me: ::blank stare::

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Me: ::shooting a training video::
Coworker: Oh are you doing the training videos?
Me: ::blank stare::

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To sum up people ask me a lot of dumb questions. I also should never consume Nyquil on a work night.