Friday, October 30, 2009

I am a Bacon Activist

I wrote this email to my Mother after hearing the tragic story of my sister being unable to persuade our mother to wrap her Filet Mignon Steak in Bacon.


Dear Miss Giordano,

I am emailing as a representative of my client Melissa Couto.

The only thing that she wishes for her birthday is filet mignon wrapped in Bacon. I understand that you are refusing her one birthday request. We are asking for your cooperation in reconsidering the addition of Bacon to the Filet Mignon Steak.

In the case of Mrs. Mulberry (plaintiff) vs. Mr. Duneberry (defendant), Mr. Duneberry was found guilty for not complying with Mrs. Mullberry’s birthday request of wrapping Filet Mignon in bacon.

The charges in this case were quite large and included:
-One new Skirt or Dress of the Plaintiffs choice
-One new pair of shoes of the Plaintiffs choice
-Two new pairs of earrings of the Plaintiffs choice

Note: In addition to the above my client will choose to exercise her right to bring up a certain “short coming” that you currently possess.

If you do not wish to be penalized in the same fashion I would suggest ensuring my client that there will be bacon wrapped around her filet mignon steak tonight.

Should you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact my office.


Bacon Rights Activist
Bacon Attorney At law LLC

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