Burns and Barbeque's

So this weekend has turned out pretty good so far. Yesterday I had a wicked bad headache, and felt awful for essentially having to ignore Ava for a bit. But it did go away and then we were off to the zoo. I decided to walk instead of drive because it really was a beautiful day out. I probably could have picked a better time though. By the time we arrived at the Zoo it was well into Ava's nap time. She was not very happy or cooperative....oh well :)
She slept on the walk home, and yes, I became very sunburned! I know after all my scolding to Larry and putting on sunscreen! I don't know I didn't think I would get sunburned, not that I actually think I have sunscreen...But I did buy some. I'm just glad Ava was covered up enough that she didn't get burnt.

We came home and went to Walmart (after spending $65.01 on Gas!!!!!!!!!) and I bought a barbeque, just a little one that uses those little Coleman tanks. It's so cute and I am very happy with it. I had a tasty dinner of Turkey Burgers, Tinfoil Potatoes and Cesar Salad.

Then Larry and I watched Evan Almighty. I thought it was a good movie, I am partial to Steve Carrel and I actually, despite his last few films, didn't think that he was too much like his Michael Character on The Office. My favourite part of the whole film was when 'God' was speaking to his wife and he said "If someone prays for patience does God grant them patience, or opportunities for them to be patient?"

I thought this was a poignant statement. When we ask for things from God we shouldn't just expect them straight out, we should look for different ways that he might deliver them to us. He might not outright grant us patience, but situations in which for us to use our patience. We all have it we just have to exercise it.

Boo Dayquil

So, watching Last Comic Standing yesterday and I was overall kind of disappointed. I didn't think that many of the people they chose were very funny, some were, but the overall majority weren't. And this morning I can hardly think of any of them! And it was just last night.
All I remember are those two weird singing dudes and the guy with the tattoos and even he was a struggle to remember.

I did take Nightquil sorry Nyquil. Why is Dayquil spelt with Day but Nightquil is Ny? Spelling lessons from my daughter perhaps? Dayquil makes my throat dry. I hate taking it. I prefer my body to heal and build up those antibodies on it's own!

I'm really tired and wish I was home in bed snuggled under the covers!!

"I have a good reason for that...the straw matches my hat"

I am having a myriad of problems today. Ava woke up at around 2:30 probably, but went back to sleep. Then must have been up again at around 4, I came in to see what was wrong and she clung to me like butta on hot toast. I hadn't slept well the night before or this past night because I am all stuffed up and have to breathe through my mouth -I never sleep well when I have to breathe through my nose.

To top it all off I have a headache this morning. I brought Ava into bed with me, where she proceeded to entertain me by ripping a Kleenex into a million pieces, saying all the words she could think of and singing Twinkle Twinkle over and over -or in Ava words "crinkle crinkle lilull staaaaa" And then she insisted I clap after every rendition of crinkle crinkle, even going so far as clapping my hands for me.

Then it was time to get up because she mentioned 'a bubba?' about thirty times in one minute, and Momma needed her version of a bubba aka cappuccino. I turned on The Wonder Pets for her and decided to make some eggs and toast. She saw me come to the table with the food and proceeded to say up up! So I put her in her little chair thinking she wanted to eat with me. Not sure that's what she had in mind, since she screamed bloody murder when I tried to belt her in. she did eat some eggs and managed to spear some herself on her fork. Then she decided she was done by throwing her eggs on the floor which earned her a sharp no.

To sum up she cried I felt bad but stuck to my guns and we ended up making up snuggling on the kitchen floor...which desperately needs to be vacuumed.

Also my jaw hurts, it's been hurting for a while, not sure what the h happened. I can speak just fine, but when I go to open my mouth to eat it hurts like an SOB. I webmd'd my symptoms and apparently I may have too much of a cocaine addiction or rabies...so good times.

On a completely unrelated note, you never fixed my table! What good is having a man around for 10 days when he doesn't even fix your table? I fixed him 90% of his meals! What a rip.

Mountains, Movies, Eggplant...oh my!

Needless to say I had the most wonderful time when Larry came to visit us. He and Ava formed a quick and loving bond and I knew he was hooked the first time she said "ah bubba?" to him! But hey, she's adorable so who wouldn't be hooked right?

I tried to plan as many fun things to do as possible.
Hiking at Devils Lake:

We had so much fun hiking, and it was just great to be outside, despite the bugs and late blinding headache.

I know...we're adorable :)

We went to the Drive in, yes the old kind of drive in where you open up the back of your car with pillows and blankets and listen to the movie through your radio. It was an absolute blast, we both had so much fun.

And we ate the most gigantic burgers, it was the best!

I even let my hair down and let him help in the kitchen!! Something I am not notoriously known for. Yes I am controlling, yes it's because I am slightly arrogant and think I can do a better job, but I also love to do it. I love to cook for people and I love knowing how much they appreciate how absolutely delicious the meal is with the look on their face and that inevitable "mmmmmmm oh my God", so I suppose I should throw in egotistical as well....

So maybe he used a little too much sauce, and perhaps he cut the cheese in a way that would make most chefs cringe and kiss their fingers, but I appreciated the amused look on his face while he tolerated my patient impatience...

But the best times we had? The spontaneous plans, renting a movie in the middle of the day, watching college jeopardy on the couch, asking about rocks and dynamite and making him slightly crazy with all my questions. Having someone break my favourite glasses, watching him tenderly wipe Ava's sick nose, being in the kitchen and hearing him playing with her and teaching her every word he could think of. Those are the precious precious memories than cannot be planned or purchased. And I am beyond grateful for everything in my life.

No matter what the next step or hurdle may bring, I am grateful for today.

A Phase...or is this going to stick

I am the FIRST one to admit that I can sometimes go through theses phases of omg this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. And I usually rush into things head and heart first.

BUT, it's the things I take my time to understand, the things I slow down with that you should be afraid. Those things, most likely I will do.

This is something I have wanted my whole life, since I was 7 actually. I stood up to my parents and said "I'm going to become a chef when I grow up." They thought it was cute I'm sure. My Dad might have even been proud as food was so much a part of his culture growing up, and my Avo, my love, my heart and my soul is the best damn cook I know.

But then I actually became a cook....it was brutal. I was disrespected, made to do cheese and deli platter until the cows came home, I was better than that and I was a cocky 17 year old. I knew my skills but didn't realize that I had to work hard to prove them. Finally I was able to make some breakfasts: omelets, poached eggs, fried eggs etc. I was TERRIFIED. Terrified of the head breakfast line cook, who was the best and had little to no patience for me and as I always saw it, thought of me as more of an inconvenience than a help. But I remember the first time I made this beautiful perfectly cooked Denver omelet...he smiled and said briskly "Now get that shit on the plate before it gets cold." I scowled and retorted "ALRIGHT it's not going to get cold damn it." Looking back now I know it was a compliment to my skills and it was his way of encouragement.

Then I worked at catering company for a year, that was worse. I was free labour to them and they sure as hell certainly weren't going to teach me anything important. Sigh.

So I left the dream I had since I was seven (literally any time someone would ask me I would say: I'm going to be a chef and own my own restaurant) and went into Marketing. Something that I had a knack and sharp mind for. I was very good and I acceled in all of my classes earning a 3.5 GPA, not the best and I could have done better, but hey it was college give a girl a break!!

So here I sit 6 years after graduation and an interlude of not working for reasons I wont get into now, at a desk job that I am both good at and even sometimes like.

But it's not PASSION. I don't have passion for it and find that babysitting was best done when I was 14 and looking after a 7 and 9 year old.

I bake constantly more than anything baking soothes my soul. Sometime the recipe doesn't turn out right, because I am stubborn and think I know best, but when it does...just glorious!
I was sitting in my Boss Christine's office trying these pitiful excuses they called cookies she had picked up from a bakery my coworker Daniel said he'd liked. They were down right terrible, and I am still convinced the so called "jam" in that one cookie is going to be in my stomach trying to be digested for the next 6 years. Christine says to me "I should have just called you on Sunday and asked you to make something for me. I would have paid you." I just looked at her a little stunned. She tried to call Daniel in her office to eat one of the cookies...now it should be said that Daniel will eat pretty much anything I put in my cookie jar without thinking. He wouldn't even touch the cookies after one look at them and us. Christine explained she had wanted them for a gathering her son had this evening and Daniel said "You should have asked Sarah to make you something" and pointing to me "She's my baker now!". I'm pretty sure I blushed and just smiled, but I realize my heart also broke.

I was damn good, people at work were astounded to know that all the creations I made, I made from scratch and with my own two hands. "How do you have time to do all of this and care for a baby" they say. I don't know, baking is my life, it's part of who I am so I just do it. I make time for it when I need that release of anger, frustration, passion or extra energy. I just do it.

I went back to my desk that day and started actual research on going back to school to become a pastry chef. I went the next day to the bookstore and bought more cookbooks and "The Idiots Guide to Becoming a Chef" and started reading. I actually told someone, not a blog that has no face, someone who means something to me. I was terrified, I had told someone once before that I wanted to become a pastry chef, and that might mean moving. I was met with resistance and a little anger.
How would this person react? The most important person in my life? With love, compassion, understanding and a willingness to do whatever possible to see me achieve my dream that moved me to absolute tears. Even going so far as to say we would do whatever we needed to if I wanted to start my own bakery, a thought I'm sure that would come, but hadn't yet. Thank you for being so completely understanding of me Larry. You will forever own my heart and soul.

So now, I read, I find a way to take night classes, I make contacts within the pastry art world and I move forward with my life. It will be HARD work, back breaking, feet blistering hard work, I need to prepare my self for the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. But that first day, that first sale that first bite and that first look of ecstasy. And it will all be worth it.